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Unraveling the Self: Reflections on Responsibility and Growth

Yes, you heard it right, this is a reflection of myself on the surface of life. If you’re not haunted by nightmares, mocked by life, or laughed at by yourself, then perhaps this isn’t for you.

First things first, let me tell you about my journey. Two years back, I made this huge call: to solitude. Not just for a bit, but for good. It’s been a ride where I’ve had to figure things out on my own, like cooking and cleaning room. I asked myself, what do I really crave? And you know what my room’s silence whispered? “Freedom.” That’s what I’m chasing. What does “Freedom” spark in you? For me, To be free is like being a bird, flying high in the sky. It means not being bossed around and taking charge of my own life. That’s the route I’ve opted for.

The path was not easy. I realize now that I wasn’t fully prepared for the sacrifices it demands. You start out chasing a dream, but when that dream turns into a nightmare, it’s like facing death. Picture yourself stranded in a vast desert at night, freezing in the sand, yearning for the warmth of the sun. You cling to hope, but when dawn breaks, you’re left scorched and disillusioned. Doubt creeps in, leaving you unsure of which path to take. Yet, you keep moving forward, dragging your weary feet. Eventually, something changes. You find solace in simple things, like conversing with a rock or feeling the cool evening breeze. Death no longer looms over your thoughts; instead, you embrace the beauty of life.

Is there a possibility that you are going to die today? “NO.” You are safe in your locker. You don’t have to fight for your food, or your shelter, and you live simply by existing. Then what is the purpose of your life?

What’s The Purpose of your life ?

As a generation, it feels like we lack a sense of purpose. We drag ourselves to jobs we dislike, just to plan for the next escape. We’re all living for tomorrow.

Many of us aspire to be millionaires. But why? To live better, supposedly. But are we really sure about that? Perhaps we should ask someone who’s achieved it. So, what should we work for? Personally, I crave Freedom.

Let’s break down the concept of freedom. According to Wikipedia, it’s about “giving oneself one’s own laws.” So, freedom is living by your own rules. Sounds simple, right? Then why don’t we do it? Who’s stopping us? Well, if you really want the answer, look in the mirror. It’s you. You’re the one not listening to yourself. Why? Because maybe you don’t respect yourself. Maybe you even hate yourself. If given a chance, you might admit it. We all crave respect. We remember those moments when our fathers were proud of us—that’s the respect we seek. But why don’t we respect ourselves? Because we know our potential, and we fall short of reaching it.

Why? The answer still lies within you.

What we Lack?

Do we merely need responsibility? No, we require more than that; we need accountability. Responsibility means acknowledging fault, but accountability goes further—it means fully owning up to your mistakes and growing from them. Picture this: you misplace your wallet. Taking responsibility might involve admitting fault, saying, “That was my mistake, I should’ve been more careful.” But that alone doesn’t solve the problem. However, if you take accountability, you actively learn from the experience, ensuring you take measures to safeguard your wallet in the future.

We often set rules for ourselves that we don’t follow through on. We say we’ll wake up early, hit the gym, but do we actually change anything? So, what’s the solution? Take control. Be accountable.

how to be Accountable?

The key to accountability lies in discipline. Discipline is the ultimate act of self-love. Often, we misunderstand discipline as merely restricting ourselves, but in reality, it’s about taking care of ourselves. Think about when you’ve had the opportunity to care for a pet—feeding them on schedule, taking them for walks, playing with them. Now ask yourself, have you been taking care of your own body? Are you nurturing your mental health? If not, it’s time to start.

Remember those boring classes in school that seemed to drag on forever? You’d glance at your friend’s watch, daydream about yesterday’s movie. I get it, I’ve been there. But now, do you eagerly wait for the break? Probably not. It doesn’t make sense anymore; the break no longer brings joy. Why? Because back in school, you knew that after 4:30, you could leave and play. But today, there’s no clear boundary between work and personal life. You feel drained, you think you deserve to unwind with a comedy show or a soda. And so, the cycle repeats. You work for the paycheck, but soon even that loses its luster, and you crave a vacation to recharge.

Why is life like this? Is it because you lack motivation? I doubt it.

What is the Difference between Motivation and Discipline ?

Motivation is essentially the desire or craving to fulfill that dopamine hit. Dopamine is what drives us to drink that bottle of coke, indulge in delicious food, or immerse ourselves in a video game. It’s the foundation of our happiness, the feeling of satisfaction. But here’s the catch: we’re often steering in the wrong direction. We don’t want to study because it feels dull. We skip a shower because we’re too tired.

So, how do we fix this? You already know the answer—it’s discipline.

Discipline means doing things even when motivation is lacking. It’s about resisting the urge to indulge in things like sugary treats that ultimately harm us. Finding the balance between indulgence and restraint defines our lives, because “nobody who has given themselves over to excess is having a good time.”

How to be disciplined?

You’ve asked the million-dollar question. Well, first things first: let go of your ego. You don’t need a strict timetable like a child. Nope, you’re starting fresh.

The simple way to become disciplined is by creating a solid schedule and sticking to it. Yep, sticking to the routine is key. Here’s a simple formula: grab a pen and paper, write down the tasks you want to accomplish today, and hold yourself accountable.

And here’s a tip for success: repeat those tasks every day at the same time. This turns them into habits. So, when you’ve got that habit down, you’ll find yourself taking a shower every morning like clockwork. It’s all about taking small steps, one at a time. And remember, hiding that ego is essential along the way.

Love the discipline you know, and let it support you. Entrust everything willingly to the gods, and then make your way through life – no one’s master and no one’s slave.

– Marcus Aurelius Meditations 4.31

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